Things rob has learnt the hard way.

when choosing between a can of strongbow or a can or energy drink, do not come up with the genius idea of mixing the 2.



in graphics, a class about design, we are taught that when researching our product we should look at user needs and then design the product accordingly. however the idiot that invented socks was obviously never taught about this. what I'm trying to say is that socks have no use and i have no need for socks. they take me time in the morning to put on and then i have to spend time taking them off later at night, the only actual use i have found for them is when you are trying on shoes in a shoe shop, that and a couple of mopping jobs here and there. but the most annoying thing to happen when wearing socks is a wet patch. wet patches naturally occur especially when more than half of your house has laminate flooring, it only take one person with one wet shoe or one slightly clumsy person with a drink and you get a wet patch. now if you happen to encounter a wet patch whilst wearing only socks you socks will soak up the wet patch and the socks get your feet wet, become soggy and uncomfortable but also become unusable so that you have to waste time replacing it with a fresh pair. if you step in a wet patch with a shoe or bare foot none of this soaking up nonsense happens , the worst is spreading of the wet patch (hazard to other sock wearers) or a slightly wet foot. i don't know what problem I'm solving by holding a protest and not wearing sock but I'm going to anyway.

also socks is an inappropriate name to call an animal, even if said animal has different coloured feet to the rest of its body.

phat rob


for the past 2 fridays i have missed doing film reviews, i did write the first one however it seems it didn't publish corectly, so instead i have decided to do them whenever i watch a film that i want to review.below is a review for the film v for vendetta, which is now one of my favorite films.

i also want to post top 10 lists of films, i'm gonna start this with robs top 10 films to watch.

10. original star wars trilogy
although not 1 film they are films you need to watch, mainly because they're referenced EVERYWHERE, if you can only watch one though watch a new hope, which is by far the best one.
9.the weather man
although not one of my favorite films, and it has the worst actor ever, the weather man is a film not to miss.
8.a clockwork orange
a brilliant film that you would and should regret not seeing.
7.saving private ryan
the only war film in my top 10 favorite simply because its brilliantly done and brilliantly loved.
6.forest gump
this films a classic and no matter which way you look at it this film is a must see.
5.the green mile
yes, another tom hanks film, but he's in some amazing classics, if you watch this, you'll probably end up watching it 6 times like i have.
4.sin city
dosen't stand up to its book well, but its a damn good film, especially as a person wanting to learn about film this film hold a lot of tricks and cinematic effects.
3. v for vendetta
although only watch it last night i know now that this film will have a lasting impression on me, it was just fantastic
2. good will hunting
fantastic film, i've never heard anyone badmouth it and it dosen't deserve to be either.

1. the dark knight
although this seem like another actiony superhero film its not its fatastic, although not as artistic as some of the previously mentioned films, its brilliantly written, directed, acted, shot and has a brilliant storyline

honourable mentions
the shawshank redemption
the silence of the lambs
the shining
fight club
the truman show

REVIEW: v for vendetta

v for vedetta is fantasticly brilliant film. it easily makes itself somewhere near the top of my top 10 films. i read the book about a year ago but have wanted to see the film since well before then. i always doubted it would stand up to the brilliance and quality of the book, but it did, very well.

set in a communistic britian, ruled but a single man, v for vendetta follows the story of evey hammond. somewhat unluckily she acidentaly meets V. V is an escapee of a detention facility, however he did not escape horrific burns covering the whole of his body. V wants revenge on the government for the communistic future and fear they hold over the people of the nation. through a series of 'terrotist' attacks he was able to get the public to notice him. he spreads a message of hate throughout brittian by taking control of a tv station. however since evey knows too much about him he must keep her locked away until he takes his revenge on the government. V puts too much trust in evey and lets her out in order for her to help him kill a priest, who worked at the detention centre he was in. evey manages to escape and goes to hide in a friends house, her friend is a gay and gays have been outlawed buy the new government so he has a hatered towards the government, he keeps a shrine of various banned items, police storm his house and arrest him but do not find evey, however V does. V tortures evey to makes sure that if he let her go and she got caught that she would not tell the government of V's hiding place. V makes a series of killings, killing the people who directly treated him in the detention centre. meanwhile the chief of police is hunting him down, although they get close they never catch him. the whole film ends in a scene where V takes about 8 cartridges of pistol bullets at once then kills all the police who were shooting him, when he gets back to evey he dies but he leaves her a train packed with explosives that will travel underneath the paliment building and blow it up, exacting his revenge on the government.

of course i am missing out on major parts of the story, but i think this follows the general gist of things.

PROs: alan moore wrote such a brilliant story, and they projected it well through the film. fantastic acting on hugo weavers part. fantastic in pretty much every way. direction was amazing, and the DOP deserves a medal for some of that. great adaptions were made from the novel to make it more suitable for film media, but they fit so well with the origiinal book, it made it hard to tell a difference.

CONs: natalie portman(evey) acted very poorly throughout the film. it seemed had to convey both such a deep thrilling story in just over 2 hours and the fact that the story took place over a year, it seemed like it was happening over the matter of a couple of weeks.


couple o' tings

you may or may not have noticed the new ad's floating around on here. they're probably over there >>> and down there vvv. just try to ignore them, they're nothing.
secondly, i changed the design of the website, used my own graphics, yes blue is a graphic. and i just used it to brighten up the place everything was kinda dark before. tell me what you think.
thirdly, my new YouTube video, TEA, should be out at the end of this weekend. sorry i haven't made many recently, I've been bogged down with a bunch of school work, i actually filmed this a couple of weeks back but haven't had the time to edit it, but it should be there soon, will post a blog about it when its done.
main point. imma deffo start movie reviews now. I'm going to be doing film in uni and hopefully for the rest of my life. as a start, a maintained blog can be impressive on a job or university application, i just want to put an extra step and make my blog somewhat film themed.i wanna do this by making a movie review every Friday (maybe). i have access to a large amount of films now since signing up to lovefilm.com, recommended for any film fan/buff. tomorrow will be watchmen, I'll also explain the format then and there. i hope you'll enjoy this.
the film review will mean a blog at least once a week and I'd like to think i could do a normal blog once a week too, not sure if i would set a specific day for me to write normal blogs, cus them I'd be forcing content, which is never good, and i don't like breaking promises.

see you soon phat fans.



so phatrob.co.uk is finally running. infact you can put it in the address bar now. go on do it. and then you can continue reading hear beaucese at the moment its links to here. the only cool thing which did happen is this.



i am due to attend my first protest today. as with most protests right now its about the raising of UK university fees. now there is something about this protest which concerns me. i like the cause and that's pretty much the only reason I'm going. i can easily understand the anger at the raised fee's. but my major problem with this protest is the amount of people just being there for the hell of it. this protest was planned through facebook and therefore hundreds and thousands of people from school heard about it. the curator of the protest planned for a collection of people who support the great cause to walk out of school on a Wednesday afternoon (when all the 6Th formers have a free), but this attempt has ended up with a lot of lower school children leave school just to leave lesson their not even there to support the cause, just there because they can be. and that is why I'm against that protest, essentially thousands of people have a nice walk to shout just for the hell of it, that's a cause i do not support.


weekend activitys

a couple of things happened over the weekend that both made me happy but also made me confused. i love going through experiences like this because it usually teaches you something, but usually its something useful and/or effects your life in some way. but all i learn was that if someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, just admit that you don't know the answer. that way you won't suffer unwanted consequences or be confronted about your deciding later on. even if the person decides for you at least you won't suffer due to your own deciding. top notch advice given buy a top notch arsehole.



today i helped a complete stranger for the first time (to my recollection). i simply reached a pie a disabled woman in a wheelchair was struggling to reach. instead of feeling good i felt as though i had demeaned her, if I'd left her she would have gotten the pie herself, but it would have taken a lot of effort, uncomfort and maybe pain, and for going through this she would have received a pie. instead i walked up with my fully functioning legs and completely voided her effort.

however this is not my main talking point right now. for the past few weeks I've taken a slightly different view to life and the/my future. of course the spark of this is the fact that i am now doing my university application. not only am i deciding now what i will be studying for the next 3-4 years but i am deciding on what i want to be qualified to do when i pass those years. this decision effects my whole future and my life from this point onward. not only that but i realise that everything i have done until now has lead to this point, but that the decisions i made in the past are effecting my current decisions. i look back at some of the things i decided to do and regret it, we all know the power of hindsight is the greatest. this leads me to now try to make better decisions to try and make up for the bad decisions i have made. but then i realised what am i deciding towards. my future, fair enough, but what do i want my future to be, i must first answer this to know what i must decide. and my answer was happiness.

originally when deciding my university choices and what i wanted to do i just went with what was me. i was seen as 'good with computers'. so therefore i chose computing and computer science. however after thinking about how this decision effects my future i decided against it. i realised that although i enjoyed studying it and i had some skill in that area its not what i want to do. i don't what to be sat in front of a computer screen writing a foreign language to come up with a program. that just isn't me.

over the last year i rediscovered my creativity. having ADHD, I've always been slightly 'creative'. but I've realised that my obsession with building things and painting, is a passion. i have a certain like for the arts that i never really thought of before. film just happens to be my art. there's something about making art out of something that exists that makes me love film, and photography. i love enhancing photos in photoshop, enhancing something captured from real life. Calum i want to thank you for helping me realise this, with of course your video camera and the infected.

fair enough i enjoy film and photography, but it seems like just a hobby and not a real job. but it is there are huge amount of jobs out there in the film industry, a lot more than i originally thought anyway. but i look at most of these people in these jobs and envy them, thinking if i could do that, if i could release my creativity that way I'd be so happy. so that's how i made my decision. the thing which i enjoy is what I'm going to do that way i don't regret anymore decisions. instead of trying to make my parents happy by going into an industry where i won't be happy, I've aimed to make myself happy.

that's the most important thing to me from now on. my own happiness, fuck everybody else. for my life till now i was a lady in a wheelchair desperately reaching for a pie when teenagers would come along and hand me my pies (this is why I'm fat). but now I'm going to get my own pie, even if they try to give it to me I'll refuse. i will go through effort, uncomfort and pain all for my happiness pie. if people boost me up so i can i reach my pie I'd gladly accept but i won't have it handed to me without effort.

Calum - i want to write you this note none of the stuff above (apart from the thanks) is aimed specially at you. but months ago you had dreams of being a big director, remaking the infected with a budget and all sorts, was you not happy with this future. is a future in architecture better for you. I'm not offending your choices i just want to know what makes you choose your future? what are your decisions aiming for? are you making these decisions for yourself? as i said I'm curious, not offending you. I've explained to you how and why I'm making my decisions and i was wondering if its the same across the board. a facebook message or a blog would answer my quieries.

EDIT- with later on refection of this post what i am trying to say is this is my way of living life now. this is how i do my decision making, at the time i thought that would be an interesting blog.


self confidence

furthering my comments about mediocrity are 2 things. one being people often put me don't by saying that i have a lack of self confidence or belief in myself, its not that at all. its just that I'm truthful to myself and everyone around me. secondly my whole comment although it can be is not specifically aimed at educational standards. its applied to everything. if i try really hard to get something cus that's my top, Someone who works half as hard and reaches the same goal and then compares them self to me. because if that person worked as hard as they could they would do twice as good. these people are time wasters.

also I'm doing NANOWRIMO. was thinking about writing the infected my i thought that would become stale and boring and just deciding to make it up as i go along.



my mum was 16 in 1982. 1982 was a great year for music, in fact the whole decade was great for music. i find myself listening, singing and dancing to the great hits of the 80's. i was 16 in 2009. in 2009 the best seeling single was lady gaga's telephone. music in 2009 was awful. i'm just hoping that in 30 years the next generation isn't listening, singing and dancing to lady fecking gaga.



i am a mediocre student, but i work my ass off to be a mediocre student, being mediocre is just me and i don't get any better. there are 2 things which piss me off about this and its when people tell me I'm not trying hard enough and I'm not doing my best. the other thing is when people halfass their way to the same mediocrity as me then they compare themselves to me, if these people worked as hard i do they'd be way off this mediocre mark i try so hard to achieve. don't tell me I'm trying to destroy my future by not working my hardest now.

don't halfass your wayto mediocrity.


the future is doomed

so i'm sat here doing extra graphics work in my free period and there is a year 9 class in here. a student .whose work is obviously usually lacking in quality, calls the teacher over (Mr. williams). Mr. williams complements the work by saying "thats really good, in fact its amazing" as he's walking away he tries to make it clear that his compliment was just that and not a joke so he says "and i'm not being sarcastic. the student looks confused and asks "whats a sarcastic???".

these children are gonna help run the world in the future.


stories from times when i was thin

this is a story (all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down) that i wrote as part of an english class. it pretty retarded like the basis of the whole story and that but i think for how long ago it was written i showed somewhat of a talent. pity its all now diminished.its a whopping 1806 words long so get ready for a read

Did you know? rocks are hard! Ah but they’re not, well it was my twelfth birthday party nobody there just me and my family. There I was looking in the bathroom mirror me with y slightly over the top human league haircut the dark brown quif peering over my pre-teen face. I slid on my t-shirt over boney shoulders and slipped on my doc martens, no socks. I looked like a misfit from an 80’s tv convention. “Perry” my mum squealed
“What, mum?” I yelled down the two flocks of stairs
“Hurry you’ve got one present left and your dad’s waiting at the restaurant”. My parents had divorced two years ago I would have had a decent present off my dad if my mum hadn’t been stealing all his money saying she needed it to feed me when she clearly didn’t. I galloped downstairs. One more present I wondered what it is.
“Honey, get in the car” she squawked as I tripped on the fifth step
“What about my present” I enquired
“You can open it in front of your dad” she answered. It probably didn’t exist. She would have made it up just to make me dart down the stairs extra fast. I climbed in the front seat of the rusty red mondeao. The MacDonald’s drinks cup lay on the floor from two days earlier, my mum she said it was a special treat ‘for my birthday’. My mum appeared from the front door in a rather sparkly purple dress. She never wore dresses and the time she did was my birthday and it was a purple sparkly one with sequins all over. Something’s going on. 30 minutes later we arrived in the car park of the most expensive pub in town ‘the worlds end‘. My dad’s special treat. My dad was standing at the entrance, holding a half empty pint glass in one hand and a nearly finished cigarette in the other. He swung his arms around me; I felt his finger tap the back of my head as he flicked the ash from his cigarette. He let me go and took a step back and took an extremely large swig the pint glass the announced
“happy birthday, son”. I followed him inside the pub; I smelt the same smell I had smelt outside. I realized it was not the outside that had a musky drunkard’s smell it was my dad.
A familiar jingle came from in my pocket. I fetched my new mobile phone. I stared into the screen. I’d received a text from Vodafone advertising their new call and text package, I must have looked like Vodafone was my only friend, but I was true I had o friends. Mum and dad were yapping only pausing to look at me messing around with the camera on my new phone. My mum presented it, my one last present, it existed. It was wrapped in happy birthday wrapping paper. She planted it on the table next to my dad’s larger
“Well go on then, open it son” he croaked. It stood there just being stared at blankly until my mum grabbed it and thrusted it towards me. I ripped at the paper to reveal a cardboard box with the words PET ROCK printed on the side. I’d asked my mum to get me one two weeks before and had doubted she would have got me one I removed the instruction leaflet that lay on top of a piece of straw. Berried amongst the straw was a grey quartz pebble it came with a birth certificate. I named it Pucka.
That evening I was lying on my bed wearing my George@asda PJ’s I had folded and cut the box of my pet rock into a kennel. I sat pucka on my pillow and turned around to face the wall. For some reason my dad had come to stay in the guest room. I heard a voice I thought it was my dad’s but it was less musky it said it over and over
“Perry I’m here to help you” it said
“What, dad?” I enquired
“Perry I’m here to help you” it repeated. I looked towards my pillow. He was gone pucka was gone.
“Perry I’m here to help you” there it was a rock talking to me. I must have gone loopy. But I was true. There he was on the corner of my desk with a slight deformity on his front opening and closing blurting out
“Perry I’m here to help you”
“What” I shouted as its continuous groan was keeping me awake
“Oh, thank god” it replied in a rather sarcastic Irish accent “I nearly jumped down to check for a pulse, well with you acting all dead and unresponsive” I shuffled back and pronounced a shhhhhh sound
“Be quite, my mum might hear” I worried
“Ahh don’t worry your little cotton socks” he was even louder now “well its sorted you see, she can’t hear me she’ll hear you though”. I threw it under my pillow, I couldn’t stand it. I blocked out its irritating noise and went to sleep.
The next morning, I looked at pucka tapped him on the top and sighed saying under my breath “it must have been a dream”
“Eh kid, whydah wake me up so early” I nearly screamed throwing myself halfway across the room. My dad burst in saying
“Are you ok son?” his musky voice reminded me of the ‘Perry I’m here to help you’ incident from the night before.
“Yeah I’m ok” I said as I clambered to my feet. I slid into the same stuff I had worn the evening before as I picked up my new mobile I slid pucka into my pocket both these items weighed my trousers down a little more than I wanted them to. As I swiftly glided down the stairs I heard my parents talking
“I’m sure that kid was talking to himself last night”
“there’s no need to worry Rachel if it makes you feel better I’ll talk to him later today”. At that moment I walked in. my mum and my dad were hugging but I carried on as normal getting my cereal ready. They immediately stopped hugging and my dad approached me.
“How you doing son” I didn’t look at him. He had his hand on my shoulder but I was concentrating on pouring the milk onto my cereal, I simply replied with a “what” finished pouring the milk, shrugged his hand off my shoulder and shuffled over to the dining table. I’d guessed this was one of the attempts to ‘talk to me’ well it had failed.
“son after you’ve finished that get your coat on and get in the car” I was starting to hate my dad calling me son all of the time
“where are we going?” in reply my dad just tapped the side of his nose. I climbed into the passenger seat of the car I ignored my dad’s warning to get my coat on. I could see mum and dad talking in the wing mirror. I delved deep into my pocket and pulled out pucka “what should I do pucka”
“You gotta get outta here kid you’ve gotta run free, now watch out” as I was about to ask what for my dad got into the car
“I see you’ve brought your new friend”
“Uhh” pucka knew I didn’t want to spend the day with my dad tapping the side of his nose.
We pulled up. I got out of my dad’s car and looked at the sign ‘Mr. Machina 3000’ it was a local electrical store. It had a rather annoying but catchy jingle on the radio. Me and my dad walked into the store he said
“Choose one thing, anything and that’s your birthday present”. Even though I could choose anything I was draw straight towards the dark TV section of the store. I pulled pucka from deep in my jeans
“What do you mean get outta here?”
“Run kid”
“From what?” I was rather annoyed at the fact that half the store was staring at me at this time
“Your dad, he’s trying to get back with your mum”
“I know but what am I gonna do about it”
“Run kid run” by this time I was already bearing at the exit at about four hundred miles per hour. I skidded out of the exit and powered round the corner of the building. Now I was on my own that night was hard and so were the three after if I hadn’t of had pucka it would have been ten times harder. The fifth day was the hardest.
“Perry, Perry son is that you” . I immediately got to my feet and powered the opposite way to the voice I ran flat into a wall.
The next few hours were the worst. There I was sat in the dining room my dad giving me the usual malarkey.
“Where were you, I was worrying my head off”
“I’ve been searching high and low”
“We’ve had the police out”
“You’ve had your Nan worried your mum worried your auntie and the rest of the family” pucka was sitting on the table he was much more exciting to listen to that dad he said
“Look kid there’s a knife” I was completely oblivious to what my dad was doing and I whispered
My dad finished talking mid-sentence it was the first time I’d spoken since I’d got home
“Look kid you have to get rid of him”
“Are you mental?” I shouted my dad look at me funnily
“What son?” he asked I eyed up the knife
“Ok, what do I do” I asked pucka
“When he’s not looking get the knife and hide it then pounce on him” I decided to start talking to my dad
“Umm-dad I-I-I ran away be-…”
“Yes I know you ran away son but why”
“Be-because I was scared dad, I don’t know” he put his hand on his head and shook it. He was covering his eyes. I grabbed the knife and settled it on my lap my dad drifted towards the door the perfect position. A bead of sweat dribbled down my nose and flopped off the end and I heard I smash down on the table just as I could hear my heart beating in my head. The pressure was building the rock making me act
the next thing I remember is silence then a crushing pain in my chest. I opened my eyes to see a policeman keeling on me snarling my rights to me. I looked to my right to see my dad lying down flat on a stretcher screaming his head off with the bread knife STILL in his shoulder.
I went quietly.

so my 60p hot chocolate, that i just brought from the school cafeteria, is way too hot for me to drink, it also has 3 of those little popper things like McDonald's does. McDonald's never uses theirs looks like neither does the cafeteria. so just next to the little mouth hole, which btw has no way to drink out of without spilling it, is these 3 raised circles of plastic. one is labels 'C' the next 'S' and the 'B'. its hard to work out what this means, it kinda wants to make me ask the cafeteria staff, wait no they won't know they never use them, that probably why, they can't work out what it means either. any way I'd like to think 'S' stands for sugar, i had sugar but she did use it, the 'C' maybe it stands for chocolate or coffee or caffeine, maybe like they pop that one if you order a full cup of caffeine, maybe that'd be just a strong espresso. so what does 'B' stand for ummmm i know, its probably bullshit for the people that like to drink a nice, overly hot, cup of bullshit in the morning yeah, that's it. i wanna know if i ordered caffeine with 2 sugars and a lump of bullshit, weather they'd give it to me, with all the little bumps popped down, or if they'd just stare me out until i ordered a real drink. its cooled down enough now that i can take a burning sip, its still to hot, i asked for hot chocolate not fire in a cup. also just cus my diagram mentions it, there's a stupid recycling logo that everyone ignores and chucks the cap, along with the rest of the paper cup, straight into the bin.


5 disney movies i hate!

the little mermaid, beauty and the beast, slepping beauty, cars and freaky friday

main point(in note form):

new website phatrob.co.uk
content ideas:
my videos
a short blog
a forum

i need peoples help what do i put on my website i can write pretty much about anything, apart from anything that will get it blocked in school, i.e. games, pornography,pirate downloads

also another plee is for anybody to help me film skits and shorts. i've been writeing short ideas down but i never expand on them. then it gets to the point where i look at my post-its to find note like unicorn stabbings, gay club bouncers and death the pet shop owners
sure they were once ideas but now just random scrawlings from my mind
basically any ideas or just films, i don't just want to make comedy, i can make action and horror (ooooo that'd be fun) or even artsy fartsy crap which i'd ike to do.


REVIEW : Transformers 2

as a promised a few trillion blogs ago i am going to review a product. so what am i choosing to review, Transformers 2.

basically transformers are an alien race from the planet cybertron, the alien race are in a huge civil war, autobots vs. decepticons. before the first film cybertron is destroyed and the civil war continues on earth. at the end of the first movie the supposed decepticon leader, megatron, was killed and that was that but the second film revels many thing. firstly megatron is no where near any kind of leader. the film is yet again based around the main character Sam (Shia Labeouf) and his girl Friend Michaela (Megan fox). the story goes that the decepticons are after a shard of a mysterious cube and Sam has got his hands on one of the last two shards, the other one being in the hands of the American military. in the fight to get the shard optimus prime is killed trying to protect Sam. the last shards are used but when Sam originally touched the shard its powers did something weird and gave him weird vision. turns out these visions happen to be a map to something the decepticons really want there hands on the trouble is only the primes of the alien race can read the map and the last living prime was optimus. they characters find out through other methods that the map is to a machine that can put out the sun but i needs a key to do so. Sam manages to find another prime he brings back to life with the last shard who reads the map which takes them to Egypt. Sam retrieves the key which promptly turns to dust which he shoves into a sock (that changes colour throughout the rest of the film). the only person who can stop the decepticons wining is optimus prime. Sam dies and though Michaela screaming i love you he come back to life which turns the key back into the key which he then used to bring optimus back to life. the key is than promptly stolen by the decepticons and put in the machine. optimus gains strength and kicks some decepticon ass.

the film is self was just full of Michael bay type giant robot fighting and slow motion shot of Megan Fox's tits hypnotising bouncing in slow motion. neither of which I'm complaining about they're both awesome but I'm expecting more from a film. i won't go into fact that the whole film is basically a Chevy advert. but around all this crap is a story a very crowded confusing story. i can't concentrate on Megan fox's tits and a very complex story like this one i think its just not possible even for women. i got confused when writing the story above. although overall the film was OK i would say its way to confusing especially when you consider that in the DVD case there was an advertisement for kids toys and its quite obvious it supposed to be a kids film, even though its a 12 because of the sex and drug reference.

overall i would give the film a 6/10. there wasn't a lot of substance to the film but i actually enjoyed it and 3 other words Megan fox's tits.

also while I'm blogging i would like to mention i made a 4 second film which i uploaded to my second channel, its not worth embedding so here's a link. here. its basically a clone of me getting shot. i just wanted to show people a new special effect which i learnt before watching transformers. it was shot on my web cam.

I'm going to the cinema with calum on Wednesday and we're going to see the losers and possibly another so i will probably blog or review that on Thursday

Megan fox's tits


they've won

as I'm sure everyone is aware on September 11Th 2001 the world trade centre was demolished, that day there was also a war won. i hope you're also aware of the new york bomb scare a couple of weeks ago, in which the whole of times square was evacuated because of a possible bomb.

the object of terrorists i.e. definition of a name is one who uses methods of threatening and causing hurt to create at atmosphere of fear and scare. when i say a war was won i mean terrorists got what they wanted and caused this atmosphere of fear and scare. this happened when 1 group of terrorists caused a huge amount of death and danger, the world trade centre was destroyed. since this day the world has changed, although i never really experience the world fully before this even although i do know that before it as possible to get though an airport in less than 2 hours where last year i had to wait in an airport for a full 5 hours before we could board the plane.

it has gotten to the point where people anticipate a terrorist attack if we do so much as show a censored image of the prophet Muhammad who according to the Muslim religion must not be depicted. this anticipation leaded to the police in new york receiving a report of a possible bomb in the popular new york tourist location of time square this lead to police closing the whole of times square for a whole business day losing a lot of businesses based in time square a lot of money. in the end the supposed bomb happened to be a plastic bag filled with water bottles.

read what you want from this but i read the world is so terrified of these terrorists that it is possible to make thousand off people think a bag of plastic bottles is a bomb.

this was also exhibited in my own experience when Tesco's in Evesham closed for the day and lost a lot of money because somebody phoned up and simply said there was a bomb in the store.

this all makes me believe terrorists are no longer terrorist in their old definition and are the creators of the modern world and how it is run. happy 26Th may :)



it seems nobodys been writing their blogs its excuseable cause of exam but i want to see you guys back on your bloging horses once exams are over. here is my sorry for not writing mine i have been working on a long long long on that hopefully alleast 1 of you will be interested in reading. so because of your waiting for my blog here's a quick reward video.

have a nice dickday



i feel ive not been entertaining enough recently so here a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head

that is all


omg i'm soooo exited for next weeks video its just finished rendering with the music and its reli funny, i can't wait for the rest of you to see it. i feel like now i'm in this roll of producing videos weekly i can keep my channel goinhg realy well and it a matter of time until i start getting some real views. calum vlogs should have huge numbers of views, and bailey is just starting to realese his videos. sam although not video making or vlogging is an extremely good comedy blogger and it now seem we should be all settleing into our new roles on youtube and here on blogspot.

although all this moving on and all this progress we are making alone on our own channels we need to remember where this all came from and you answer will be phrat boys which is right. i realy don't want us all to forget about phrat boys amungst all our new internet fame. we need to find someway of balancing our channels our school work and phrat boys. first i have to ask is this possible, which i suggest it is. secondly is it worth it. is phrat boys good enough for the amount of time we spend doing it. i'm not suggesting dropping phrat boys i just suggesting that we just concentrate on that especially once we've all got our channels up and ruunning.

i just feel its good that the future looks bright but we have to make sure we don't forget our roots and carry on how we started

happy 14th may.


i know this seems this is all i do now but i promise some more blogs to come soon, but right now there is a couple of new videos i have out.

this one explains how in the future i am going to make my video so i'm not rushing around making editing redering and uploading on wednesday. basically i'm gonna film a video one week and release it the next week, see video for more information.

as explained in the video i've started up a new channel where i'm gonna upload funny little vids from my phone and also the extra's from my main channel video's i.e. bloopers. this is just a short video i made in order to get people opinions on this new stucture, leave yours in the comments.

thanks for reading that stuff :). happy 12th may people, argos opens tomorrow


made a new video today unlike anything i've done before. here it is

here are the bloopers from the video above

i didn't lose any weight!. happy 9th may

phat rob - living life to the almost full, seriously he's not fat enough to fill it all up

Ok so this is less of a blog and more of an appeal to the 3 of you. I want names for a short film i am creating for phatrobshow. Basically because of the first vlog being called ground rob day and that is basically my name spliced into a movie title, i.e. lord of the Phat, Robert potter, planet of the phats. Those were crap but it doesn’t need to make any sense whatsoever and it doesn’t have to do anything with the film. The film is based on my walking along way (i won’t tell you much more) so i was think something like forest Gump (with my name spliced in) or another one i came up with was run Lola run but the only way i could personalise that is fun Phat boy fun which is what i believe to be the name a of a film already. Any help. If i don’t get anything good imam have to just go with something like fat arse walks a long way.

Also just to make this somewhere along the blog type lines i hereby talk about myself. And stress free life styles. Turns out once you don’t have your graphics work bearing down on you like a ton of bricks, your life become a whole less stressful. As such today is the first day in 3-4 weeks that I’m kind of smiling and relieved on the inside not just on the outside to put on a good show. Feeling good is kind of weird after weeks of being under soooo much pressure. Would it be weird to say i feel high? Fair enough i still have things hanging over me but they’re smaller things like tidying my bedroom and smaller pieces of homework .................o... and i need to revise. But now that I’m stress free seems like a good time to procrastinate a bit and get what i wanna do done say making a new video. Alex i will require you help for this.

Phat rob is high on life. Happy Cinco de Mayo peoples.

P.S. What does everybody think of a video where i have bulletime but we call it phatime and its either like me eating food in slow motion or it’s just me being real bad at actual bulletime. Ideas??


how to resolve failure

you know that kind of failure when you know something is doomed to fail and the inevitable will happen resulting in this strange feeling of not anger but failure. it is that kind of failure that wants to make you go stand in a packed public space and just yell 'FUCK!' then turn to the nearest war veteran and tell him to go fuck himself, so in that sense its kind of the same as anger. now the failure which makes me want to write about this is my complete and utter failure at my graphics coursework although due within the next 30 minutes i decide to sit here and inform all three of my reader about how to resolve this feeling and it is inevitable that this will happen. But Rather than just telling you straight away imma tell you how i ended up in this predicament, and surprisingly in links to the second item in my list of things i really, really like which is my complete and utter lack of any kind skill. in this case my lack of being able to keep time therefore me rushing on the last day to try and finish and then failing to do so is what happens. but my complete lack of talent expands to everything even blogging, if i had talent my vlogs would be watched, I'd be able to wake up in the morning, go to sleep at night, I'd even be able to breath properly, I'd e able to do the three peaks challenge next year without anyone doubting me. face it i have no talent and if anybody can come up with one i would be grateful as i have pondered this for many an hour and am yet to find a specific skill.

so now for my guide of how to stop failure
1. find a crowded public space : the more quiet the place is the better. the more easily offended the people are there the better. crowded library's are good
2. make sure a war veteran is near
3. breath in deeply
4. let out the loudest 'FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK' you have ever given
5. turn straight to the war veteran
6. tell the veteran to fuck himself
7. add the topping i.e. turn to a small child and tell them Santa isn't real
8. feel relieved and enjoy the rest of your day until you fail again

so rob what are we going to do tonight. i don't know calum maybe we'll do what we do every night. and whats that rob. we're gonna try to take over the world. NARF. happy 30Th April :) PDF (please don't fail)

this blog is a trademark of fail and please go fuck yourself.



I know this is the second time i have returned in 2 days and that might feel strange after a month of inactivity but rather than talking about the second thing on my list of things that i like i wanted to bring a news item either to your attention or inform you more about it. That news story would be the discovering of an iphone prototype in public hands. Some people might be bored of this and i suggest if you know the whole of the story to skip straight to the next paragraph. Simply everything you read about now is what i have gathered from the gizmodo website. So basically a guy is at his local bar doing bar type stuff when he sees that somebody has left their iphone 3gs there he quickly swoops it but after a close inspection see’s the rounded back is actually a case. When he removes the case it contains a strange phone that he’s not seen before then being a slightly clued up bloke realises that the bar he is at is near the apple headquarters and puts 2 and 2 together and realises what this is. He leaves the bar surfing the phone on the newly announced iphone 4.0 software, he is able to do this for about 15 minutes when all of a sudden apple shuts the phone off remotely. A couple of days later the man walks around tech websites and news to see who would buy his story and his new iphone. The website that buy’s this is gizmodo. Gizmodo are quick to upload a video and a few photos to their website gaining about 7 million pages views in the last 4 days. Gizmodo say the phone has the insides made by apple and they point out that it would be near impossible for a normal person to make a phone out of apple components, that didn’t end up being the same as the old iphone. Gizmodo also say apple have said they have lost a prototype and they want it back.

This story certainly seems believable, you know and innocent guy finds a phone turns out to be the next wonderphone. There just seems to be no holes to poke in this story, i myself even believed it at first. But there is a problem with this story, gizmodo are the only website to have said anything about the iphone, i mean 1) Where is the guy who found the phone for all we know gizmodo could have made him up to make the story more believable 2) what they say about the phone insides then there are no pictures with the phone open 3) there is no proof anywhere on the internet that says that apple said what gizmodo said apple has said. Also if gizmodo are not at fault of this being a fake the guy could be a real person that made this fake and fooled gizmodo with his story. I’m not saying that this story is defiantly fake but it just seems a bit suspicious, if this iphone is released eventually then that would be awesome and i guess we’ll find out the truth when apple reveals it in June. Also we will defiantly find out the truth because apple isn’t going to spend millions on redesigning before June when they’ve been working on this one for a good 3 years. I say you should go over to the story (link below) and see what you make of it.

Rob wants an iphone. Happy 21st April.

Gizmodo story and photos: click here


asparagus sucks, so fuck you evesham!!!

having not written a blog for over a month you would thing i have something to talk about but no that's not the way it is. i somehow have to come up with something to say so...here goes main reason i stopped blogging is so i can do something different like say school work but that would be a lie instead i spent the whole Easter holiday lounging around watching YouTube complaining about having nothing to do. so being supar bored i decided that i would compose a list of 3 things that i REALLY "like" about the myself and my situations (sarcasity, if you haven't realised by now). in no particular order number one is where i live. i am where i grew up and as of now it can stay that way. but seriously the most interesting thing about evesham is feeding the ducks and i mean that literally, fair enough most of my friends live even more in countryside boring places but they live pretty close to evesham so same thing. but my main point is no matter how boring it is living here i would never leave that is if never is about 2 years, the reason being is my friends are my school is here and the whole 16 years of my life is here and no matter how much i want to go and travel more I'm not ready to leave all this behind yet.

yes that was just one, what do you mean that's loads? well i suppose i could save the other 2 so i have content to write about in my next two blogs. look for them soon but before i go i have to admit something that was supposed to be my content for the next vlog, yes i wrote content for a vlog that's cus I'm gonna film one soon. guess imma have to come up with some more content.that should keep you coming.

rob hates evesham!!! happy 20th of April or weed day you know cus like in America the date is 4/20 and 420 is the number of the bill to legalise cannabis duhh!! (<<< random fact rob knows about America cus he loves it).




just a very short post to tell you that I'll be going live at 9.00pm GMT Saturday 13Th march and might be on 6.00pm GMT the next day on Sunday 14Th march but time might change. this is just simply for fun i don't know how long I'll be on for both time and please join the chat I'll be live at http://www.blogtv.com/People/phatrob


be there or be square just because rob likes to say things that are obviously cheesy. happy birthday Mr. nobody famous' birthday today.


i'm riding too many band wagons!!!

I'm starting to feel bad about the amount of posts I'm writing recently is that right or wrong? what am i doing? in a big plee to help me get my dream job/job shadowing I'm going to start writing about every piece of tech or game i use that's not to say that every single post i do will be a tech review. just after what norledge said i looked into it and it turned out that of the 6 game reviewers i looked at, 6 had a blogs reviewing games before they got there job. so if i want a job reviewing tech it seems that's the way i need to go. norledge has his own channel reviewing media and the such but I'm not sure weather he wants to do that when he's older but it should be a good blog, he's yet to review something. since I'm in school right now i don't have any tech to review but i am going to go through my box of xbox games 1 by 1 and review them all and also i will review my laptop my camera and video camera my ipod, phone and other assorted tech i get my hands on. also norledge's review blog is separate from his normal blog but I'm gonna mix mine in and distinguish them by calling them "REVIEW (insert name of product)" also might post a normal blog post along with the review.

also just so you guys know the footage i filmed for phat rob show i gonna go unused I'm gonna try get my followers on my blog first before i try start making a video blog. ummm what i would like to do is take my camera more places do some fun stuff and will be bringing the camera along to Worcester tomorrow.

should i do a theme you know a normal blog post should i actually i will but I'm gonna keep it short. today's theme is :
getting exam results : part 1 (part 1 because i wish to expand on this later.)
my guide to getting exam results comes in 3 big bullet points. number 1 is what not to do the day before you results.
~worry you shouldn't worry like what you worrying about you've already done the exam you've already created the results there is no way you can change it and the only emotion you should be feeling is boredness of having to wait so long for the damn things.
second point is what not to do when you get you results.
~ cry or shout yay! or even feeling anger like seriously what gonna change if you cry about it you can be disappointed but that can all change
third is how to chose a retake.
~ don't retake if you get a low mark. don't retake if you tried your hardest only retake if you are unhappy with your results not if your parents are unhappy with your result or your teacher is unhappy with your results the point is there your results so you decide what to do with them.
sorry if the advice is a bit crap but its what i do if it doesn't work for you then don't worry.

rob failed his exam don't listen to him. happy birthday johnny Knoxville and john Barrowman.


osama bin ladens camera personality

its strange how i don't post in like 3 weeks then all of a sudden i blog twice in a period of 24 hours but hey. main cause of this blog is a special birthday no not robert llewellyn although it is his birthday and he does have a lovely podgy face when he's in red dwarf. just look>>>. no I'm actually here to celebrate a very special persons birthday and that of course is... you guessed it...... osama bin laden. that's right its the lovable leader of Al-Qaeda and I've baked him a cake and i have the perfect picture of bin laden enjoying said cake. completely not photoshopped in any way. and now you guessed it it time for random facts about osama bin laden time. please not that none of these fact are not copied from wikipedia in any way whatsoever.

random fact 1: bin ladens real name is Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden or Usāmah bin Muḥammad bin ‘Awaḍ bin Lādin if you prefer to say it in his native language

random fact 2: After leaving college in 1979 bin Laden joined Abdullah Azzam to fight the Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan

random fact 3. In 1974, at the age of 17, bin Laden married his first wife Najwa ghanem at latakia. According to CNN national security correspondent David Ensore, as of 2002 bin Laden had married four women and fathered roughly 25 or 26 children. Other sources report that he has fathered anywhere from 12 to 24 children

random fact 4: osama bin ladens wikipedia page has quite a lot of information on it and i cant me arsed to look thorough it all.

random fact 5: is about Robert Llewellyn. Llewellyn has worked as a voice actor, providing the voices of the alien creatures in Skywhales (1983), the voice of Feeble for The Feeble Files (1997), and the perplexed 'Gryphon' in the film MirrorMask (2005). He has described himself as "very much a 'don't want to do it now' kind of person" (Dwarfing USA documentary, Red Dwarf V DVD

but hey that's all good and out of the way. now for the theme. lets have camera personalities. in general people act differently when on camera and the master of not doing so is shaycarl and the shaytards but sometimes peoples camera personality's are damn annoying like bailey every time a camera turns to him he has to present what is going on at that moment and calum whats with the fucking silly noises on camera. i try to be my self but seriously it is slightly hard but these guys like dude. no but by far the best camera personality i have ever seen just has to be bin laden in his super famous video tape. what acting skill he shows there its just amazing. no but seriously guys when i whip the camera out to try and grab some footage for the phat rob show can you guys act more lets say...... normal.

rob has wicked cameraface. happy birthday 54Th birthday Robert Llewellyn and special happy 53rd birthday to our favorite terrorist barrack Hussein Obama. lol


stupid backstabbing wii

i haven't blogged since February and i kinda wanna not excuse myself from that. now i am gonna start reviewing things but Sam told be i should do so before he started. he advised me it would help me get a place on a course for games journalism, which is my dream job. no band wagon jumping on here. so to start my reviewing blogs I'm gonna start with a very broad one.

as you would expect the Nintendo wii is not a very good games console as games consoles go however i have become increasingly bored with my xbox and any new games i get seem to be the same boring drizzle i feel the PS3 would just be a more expensive version of this drizzle. saying the wii is a bad games console isn't completely accurate you can play complete awesome and equally as good games on the wii. for example no more heroes and madworld, both as good as any xbox game i have ever played but less boring. also the wii opens me up to different types of games like wii music and Mario and sonic at the Olympic games which are less games and more sports. the way the wii makes stuff unboring is by making everything bright and cheery and also the crazy energy using control methods. for anybody looking for a break from their normal games console i thoroughly suggest the wii its new and fun for more than half the price.

now for some ratings. as this is for a games console its slightly different than rating a game.

playability. 8/10 - you can play the wii for ages because you are having fun but eventually the jingle like music just gets on your nerves

graphics. 2/10 - for a next generation console the wii's graphics are absolutely amazingly crap

games availability. 9/10 there is a game out there for everyone including me the more gamery type

overall. 6/10. you kinda have nothing to compare this to but yer for me that's pretty good.

OK now for a theme..... a theme of backstabbing or talking about people behind. i got calum angry/annoyed today i know he won't admit it but just look at his blog post. now calum in reply to your blog post i left a comment on that blog post and if the rest of you don't mind (Sam and bailey) could you go over to that reply and see what you agree with. you might realise everyone back stabs but its kinda human nature. thing which is strange about me is i have the balls to go right out and tell that person that i have been backstabbing them and criticize them then hope they use that criticism to change who they are. which is why i keep telling you calum that you are a dick and i am hoping you will change that about yourself.

you may notice I've been talking just to you three just because i know your the only three that read my blog however I'm hoping that will change and if my plan works i will help you guys get more followers too.

ouch my back. happy birthday denisevlogs....if you don't know who she is shes a video blogger. I'm not really into her but there is nobody else with a birthday today.


failure is always an option.

Calum no!! phones just don't magically appear in pockets. face it you stole my phone you Nazi scouse thief. grrrrrrr. since I'm writing messages, bailey no!! i don't just go around giving my password out for things which Calum can rape me on i.e. he doesn't know my facebook. the way he gets on is by going on my laptop which auto signs in to my accounts. the reason i give out my password is trust the same with my pin code. I'm happy to give them out because i trust that you won't hack my accounts and rape me and you won't mug me and take my card. the only reason Calum rapes me on facebook is because he can't do it unless he's on my laptop because my facebook password is different, its kinda like this disobeying laws part of human nature, you know the "i can't do it normally but i can now so i will cause its fun" part of human nature. OK bailey nature was slightly longer but that because he gave me content.

so yesterday i filmed some new parts for the next phat rob show i know i haven't made one in ages but this one is different. this one is gonna take me 2-3 weeks to edit. so to get a head straight with the editing i went straight ahead and started doing it yesterday. only thing is this episode is a bitch to edit I've started and I'm already thinking why don't i quit, its OK to quit no one depends on you, failure is always an option. saying this one is gonna take me a few weeks to edit doesn't mean your gonna have to wait a few weeks to see me, i will film and edit smaller ones in the meantime.

sixth form had Assembly this morning which sucked but it sucked more than usual for me because i got sent out (<<<<<>

i would talk more but I'm in fear of boring the fuck out the tiny amount of people that actually read my blog. i am going to see a film tonight with Calum and Norledge so we'll see how that goes might blog about that abit, maybe even wideo blog.

rob?? is always an option??? if you know what i mean. wow i need to pay some Jews to write these little anecdotes for me. happy Johnny cash's birthday people.


boreom is a funny little man.

boredom is a funny little man and to illustrate this point I'm going to inject an image like all the rest my friends are. my only way of gathering this image was to insert the search term funny little man and give you the first image result google returned. how google managed to link this image with the search term i do not know but any hows. this kind of should backup my complaining about how nothing google ever does works fully in fact google fucked up this time with not only the first result not being relevant but none of the images on the font page included an actual funny little man as you can see in the picture to the right. sometimes on google image search i feel like I'm looking through http://pictureisunrelated.com/. as I'm sure i said before, the only thing google has ever made work properly is their android phone OS. i never really spend much money on technology when its not needed i.e my mobile phone never usually cost more than £50. but i am seriously considering spending money where i don't need to just to get a phone that operates android. this may seem like i am therefore opposing Apple's iPhone, the reason is i already have an iPod touch. like I've already overpaid for a similar apple product so why i would want to over spend again. also apple are way better at making mp3 players i will wait till then know more about the mobile phone market before i purchase a phone from them. as I'm talking about apple i would to say a a big happy birthday to apple CEO Steve jobs. happy birthday Steve jobs. random Steve jobs facts:-
1. Steve jobs helped built the great arcade hit 'breakout'
2. Steve jobs was once fired by apple for ruining the company. he was later hired as the CEO.
3. Steve jobs is awesome and would in fact stand a chance in a fight with chuck Norris, that is before he gets round house kicked to oblivion

o and I'm pretty sure Steve jobs doesn't have the time to read this blog so could one of you just pass my happy birthday onto him thanks!!!!!

rob <3 steve jobs. happy steve jobs' birthday



i feel as though rape wouldn't be strong enough word to describe what has happened to me today. Calum's house ... what a journey!!! i came here because Calums PC is too crap to deal with the HD footage coming from my camera, so i had to bring my laptop over so he could use it to edit the latest phrat boys production point wars. But today is far from what i expected i have been raped many times in many different ways. my first way of being raped is being beaten by a newb on guitar hero. fair enough Calum has some awesomes at playing guitar hero but he has no where near the amount of experience that i have on guitar hero. secondly i was forced to play call of duty. i personally don't like call of duty but when your only real other choice of game is guitar hero (which I'm very angry at at this point) i am forced to play call of duty. so i decided instead of going online and being raped further by some random online jippo, i decided to play a bit of campaign. only thing is campaign gets extremely boring so i reserved to going online. but before i could i had my third raping. the controller was stolen from my hands and i was given achievements which lead to me being accused of being a g-whore. after getting my firm final raping from the online jippos i came to the computer to find Calum had worked his way onto my blogspot account and has changed my profile picture to 2 lesbians having fun. I'm gonna leave the picture there for a couple of days for your viewing pleasure.

after all that rape it made me think about WHY THE FUCK I HAVEN'T MADE ANY VLOGS IN LIKE A MONTH. ok, ok let me explain, there are many reasons why i didn't make a vlogs this week the main being, i did. i did make a vlog last week i filmed it and everything it just happened that the way i filmed it meant it was near enough impossible to edit. not only was it impossible to edit but it sucked. for all of anybody that actually reads this blog and is waiting for my vlogs i promise one by the end of this week.

i would like to propose a change to the meaning of the word rape Rather than it mean the kind of taking sexual privileges over somebody without permission, have it mean to invade personal space or to not allow them to do something they were trying to do or even making them do something they don't want to. this would of course mean there would be a larger amount of rape in the world but i think i could live with it.

rob got raped :(. happy February 21st people.


sleep un-deprevation???

looking over my blogs from last week it seems i moaned quite a lot about being sleep deprived but now I've done sooooo much lying in i feel kinda ..... like......... sleep un-deprived. I'm not even sure that's a word but I'm suffering from so much sleep un-deprivation that i can't be bothered to go to google and find out.

today was pancake day/mardi gras but i didn't have pancakes so i kinda felt weird but i did do some bad things like i woke up and i talked a bit. OK i didn't celebrate that much but you know it is actually a Christian festival and since i never claim I'm christian i don't feel obliged to celebrate it. wow that makes me sound dull.

so I've decided to change the name of my blog to 'a blog with long post' but now that I've done so i can't find any content to write in said long posts. ummm boring life = boring.

filming the second phat rob show tomorrow should be a laugth. also going to a party with Norledge, cal and Ryan so that should provide me with some good content. anyways i guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow.

sleep un-deprivation = laziness. happy February 16th.


this is madness. THIS IS ........... MONDAY!!!

actually the title lies. Monday = boring would have been a more accurate title. yay rob came back from his short break of not blogging. well i was gonna post Thursday but after the whole stressful day of finally handing in all that coursework and then filming what we could of point wars i just didn't feel like posting. after Thursday came Friday and Alex and Calum had me wake up at normal school waking up time when we had the day off school to go to Alex's house. at Alex's house i just spend a large amount of time playing guitar hero and then i went to Alex's youth club where i played more guitar hero and i guess since then I've been having a great big lie in. well, i haven't just slept i woke up at a good time on Saturday and went over to my granddad's to set up his new computer which earned me the treat of McDonald's (which i haven't had in a while) and then i went up town with my friend Ryan and then pretty much spent the rest of the day lounging around. Sunday was a lot more uneventful i just sat around waiting for my mum to moan at me to move my arse which i would inevitably ignore then just turn up the two and a half men to drown out her noise. today which i mentioned has been boring, my brother and sister are back from my dad's therefore preventing me from getting any chance for any quality TV time. but there was a light at the end of the long Monday tunnel. my mum is taking my sister to the cinema tomorrow so won't be here to cook me and my brother pancakes for shrove Tuesday sooooo we had them today and phat rob loves pancakes. i would go into details about the pancakes but i would probably bore you.

Evesham, being a small quite town in the middle of England, is never in the news. so when a crazed father puts his children in his car and jolts towards the river at 40 mph, Evesham turns into a small media storm, this was kinda exiting finding your hometown in all the papers and such, but then you remember the reason why its in the paper. a couple of days after the farther gave his two children the fright of life his 6 year old daughter died. she'd been trapped in a bubble of air inside the car for a whole 2 hours and when she was recovered and flown to join her brother in Birmingham children's hospital she was in an awful state. her brother who was in the car with her luckily escaped and today he was released from hospital today. hopefully his dad will not b e being released from anywhere and will be sent straight to the prison showers to pick up the soap if you know what i mean.

on a entirely more cheerful note i would like to talk shortly about McDonald's. earlier i said i was treated to a McDonald's but in all truthfulness it kinda isn't a treat. McDonald's food isn't actually nice. saying I'm a fat kid i should like a good Maccy D's but its just simply not something i want. McDonald's food has no taste or sustenance its actually kinda horrible and for the price's you pay I'm not surprised McDonald's make a lot of money. if i could sell crap at that kind of money to millions of people a week I'd be a trillionare in a couple of years.

so i guess i have to sign this off by saying something about how you should be expecting to see more of me than what you have in this previous week . happy February 15Th people well whats left of it.



just a quick post to say that i prob won't be posting till tomorrow afternoon i got like a load of coursework to catch up on. this kinda also means no phat rob show I'll film phat rob show on Friday. also for the weekend. I'm gonna do Rob's weekend game review. I'll try play bioshock 2 before then so i can tell you what i think. anyways i guess I'll talk tomorrow. happy February 10th people.



so my mum finally went out and brought me some hot chocolate which makes rob extremely happy hyper and slightly more awake i am yet to have a third mug but i am like super exited as you can see.

after my amazing amount of jumping around and yelling " yay hot chocolate, hot chocolate". i settled down and did some quality guitar hero. then my hand ached so i came and sat and started typing this blog post. wow I've had a stressful day. so now something to talk about. i could talk about me finally getting the new facebook layout a whole 2 days after the rest of my family but i suppose that would be boring for you all. ummm no really i have no idea what to write about i usually have quite a good idea what I'm going to write but every single thing escapes my mind. ahh i know here something....video blog my other very flawed skill. now i watch video blogs constantly and I'm always looking out for new and interesting people to watch so any suggestions please comment. now people who know me will know that i basically idolise ray William Johnson and watch both his normal show and his daily personal vlogs religiously. but surprisingly he is not my favorite video blogger here is a run down of all my favorite video blogs/bloggers with analysis:

1. wheezy waiter aka Craig benzine (http://www.youtube.com/user/wheezywaiter?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti) wheezy waiter provides me a daily video blog and there usually short but there always topical, funny and creative. wheezy waiter only has a reasonably small following but big guns like Dan brown believe he could one day be king of YouTube and believe this and i hope one day this is true.

2. raywilliamjohnson (http://www.youtube.com/user/raywilliamjohnson?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti) and his other channel breakingnyc (http://www.youtube.com/user/breakingnyc?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti) ray was the first video blogger i ever saw and i watched nothing but him for ages and he is the one who made me want to do video blogging. he reviews viral video's i a very comic way. he has a new video every Wednesday and Saturday.

3. charlieissocoollike aka charlie McDonnell (http://www.youtube.com/user/charlieissocoollike?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti) charlie is so cool like and that is the reason i like. actually i shouldn't like him really he's not regular and he's very popular, he's just cool like. oh and the the youngest and the only British guy in my top 5

4. vlogbrothers aka john and hank green (http://www.youtube.com/user/vlogbrothers) vlog brother i dunno i find then interesting they have a huge following and i hope on being a nerdfighter which is a group led by them dunno just think their vids are cool and topical

5. pogobat aka Dan brown (http://www.youtube.com/user/pogobat?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti) asked me a couple of weeks ago and Dan would have been number 3 or so but like he seems like a knowledgeable guy and his old videos are great but he's starting to make some dumb ass decisions like dropping out of school for a super secret project that kinda sounds like it will inevitably fail.

umm hope you at least half enjoyed that if you've got some spare time just click on the links above. oh and also sorry about the moody blogs over the last few days I've just been a bit stressed. happy February 9th people

this blog sucks!!!

since I'm in sixth form i don't actually have lesson 100% of the time i often have free periods filled with delights like Paul's house and random fun trips to Tesco in which i often enjoy lovely cans of kick, which according to Sam tastes like piss. oh the fun we all have dossing about in random fun time. wait, wait, remember yesterdays post of me just complaining about all the bad points of sixth form namely the huge amounts of coursework and homework. so what sixth form does have a good side have i seen the light, no i haven't i fact seeing that this makes me want to stay in sixth form piling up more and more coursework until i finally get somewhere with it. sixth form sucks!!!.

so what now I've got to a point in my life where i believe that i could be completely independent and not only would i like to know this but i would like to try it. so the main problem with my Independence is my complete Independence of the other people in my family, so how do i cut this off, why i move out of course. but there's one hitch i don't earn no where near enough money to rent my own place I'll have to move in with on of my friends so lets ask them now and see their replies.
Calum: "very funny, no. when my grandma dies, yes"
Norledge: " no, because i have haddock hanging from my ceiling"
Bailey: "yeah why not" but i wouldn't want to live with him anyway so next
Paul: "i doubt it"
so my quest for complete Independence has failed. :( . maybe Independence just isn't my thing maybe I'll just sit home with my whinging mum, annoying brother and 9 year old sister.

no honestly i really want to show my Independence. but i can't so this just ends up in me resenting my family. my life sucks and so did this post. happy February 8th everybody.


rob's rules

as though my day hasn't been long enough already i decide to sit at my laptop late at night and write all you potential readers a post. nah just kidding i can't help myself. anyways i wanted to write a post now and about this certain subject because i know my main readers are my fellow bloggers Sam, Alex and Calum, not to say this post is aimed at anybody in particular.

so what is it that i wish to enlighten you all about??? well blogging of course. i myself have been blogging since Tuesday and i am now able to see what i have achieved, siting there analysing my page i see my page self Analise in numbers i.e. i have 7 posts, 6 subscribers and my average amount of viewers at anyone time is 2. and i am going to easily admit I'm doing awfully so how do i fix this and here's how i thought in list form.
1. there is never an end date to blogging, i will never stop, i will never finish, the only light at the end of the long, long tunnel is popularity and even then blogging doesn't stop. rob you must plan for this.
2. stop writing and read. in order to know what i am doing i must first know what other people are doing so i can follow their footstep on my path to popularity. research is key.
3. when you start blogging, popularity is like an island and you have your own Small island far away from that but by make numerous telephone calls and pleas for help (comments and email) to people living in popularity they will be able to send you a boat to help you get there. use popular people to get popular, like getting a foot up over a wall
4. final Rob's rule is set a target. i do this where ever i go if I'm walking somewhere my aim will be get to the place I'm going etc. some after some though i made my self 3 rule/aims;
1. become a nerdfighter. i know I'm far off but i believe i could make it
2. go to a YouTube gathering. this one is easier
3. never trust the numbers. fair enough they're low but i doesn't mean anything right now.

i super deserve hate mail for everything i do like really i do. happy February 8th everyone.


coursework, hot chocolate cravings and saturday night TV

OK so the last time i posted was Friday morning so what its not like i have to post. I've been like solidly doing coursework for like the last 48 hours and now I'm about to die of sleep deprivation because I've run out of caffeine (hot chocolate). no actually some of that is kinda lies, i did mean to post on Friday night however blogger seems to hate video uploads and denied me from doing so. so what i just post my vids on YouTube and then embed them right....no no actually blogger isn't going to let me embed video's either so i guess i do nothing and once i got to the point where i decided to give up all hope on that Friday night and decided to write an all new one i simply had nothing to blog about .

after that whole fiasco with the video's i decided to go to youth club where i would spend the next 2 hours pressing coloured buttons and hitting a piece of plastic along with bailey. that is of course because bailey just loves guitar look just go look at his blog
http://atothebailey.blogspot.com/ .

so i just spent from about 9 on Saturday morning until now just doing coursework and i can say there's nothing more fun than doing coursework for 48 hours straight without any caffeine (hot chocolate). so now in my very ... very sleep deprived state i stare at the dismal amount of coursework i have actually done and therefore decide to procrastinate from doing anymore by writing this blog. and now my little brother turns up to tell me the fact than he has been skating for 7 hours today and he skated for 6 hours yesterday and this just makes me remember those years before sixth form when i could do whatever i wanted for 6-7 hours a day and then i come come home and think about what I'm going to do for 6-7 hours tomorrow. and oh they were great times alright but then i chose the option to stay up late into the night doing hours on end of coursework to satisfy my teachers. and all that sacrifice just to make my life better in the future and now i not sure i is all worth it.

i sit here sunken into my chair with a headache from the fact i have not drank a hot chocolate in 2 days straight i read what i have just previously wrote and realise its just a load of yammer about how i haven't slept. then i come to this sudden realisation of why i am doing this coursework now, its because my coursework deadlines are Wednesday and Thursday. so what after Thursday I'm free. no I'm not after Thursday comes the revision and rob loves revision.

now I'm going to write a whole paragraph without the word coursework in it ... oh shit. OK the next paragraph will not have anything to do with coursework, homework, sleep deprivation and I'll try my hardest not to mention hot chocolate.

and now for something completely different is what i would rather watch on a Saturday night not total wipe out or casualty. i know its not on TV but i will get off my arse and put in a DVD rather that have my brain fryed by bailey's (
http://atothebailey.blogspot.com/) favorite total wipe out which is obviously a complete and utterly crap copy of the great classic takeshi's castle. and as for Sam's (http://samtalksshiz.blogspot.com/) fave, casualty i didn't even know that show existed anymore i like haven't watched it since the 90's. like if i had to watch something on TV I'd just switch over to comedy central and I'd watch some quality American sitcom like two and a half men, scrubs, 30 rock or even ummm south park which isn't a sitcom but none the less awesome. any way its not like i have time to watch TV I'm always doing ..... oh yeah sorry.

if there isn't an easier bang wagon to jump on its blogging and that seems to be whats happening. i know technically i joined after Sam but i have been planning to blog write since the phat rob show season 1 finished. i know that me and Sam would have worked together well in our little blogging duet but then bailey and now our other Friend Calum has joined like i guess we'll just have to do it all in a kinda phrat boys blogging team which actually sucks. but one thing i am proud to say is that I'm the only one who video blogs and I'd half like it to stay that way . I'd be OK with one of our little blogging team to join me preferably Sam.
Calum's blog :

i would just like to close this post with a big hurrah and a nice mug of warm soothing hot chocolate only thing is I've ran out... mum where the pro plus